When you hear the words “I am worthy,” how does that make you feel? Do you get a slight ping in your chest or do you feel a wave of love wash over you?

There’s no right or wrong answer here, just awareness. *deep breath*

Personally, this statement brings me joy and it feels like a reflection of my Highest Self. There was a time when I didn’t feel this way though and that’s where we will journey too.

The year is 2017 and I am a dance major in college at a university in Philadelphia, PA. My life consists of dancing all day, working, a good turn up and a slightly tumultuous dating life. If someone were to ask me where my sense of worthiness stemmed from at that time, I probably would’ve said that my skills as a dancer or my “in a relationship” status were indicators of my worthiness.

With greater perspective now, I know that worthiness exists beyond talents and relationship status. Unfortunately, my lack of understanding of self worth as an almost twenty something led to an internal deficit that resulted in a years’ long cycle of feeling inadequate and making poor decisions. A lack of self-worth kept me tied up in loveless situationships and even some unhealthy friendships. Without the awareness of my self-worth, I struggled to set boundaries with those that were causing me harm. I also avoided being alone because I felt so uncomfortable just being by myself.

So what changed? 

In short, a pandemic and being ghosted. You see, after college, I moved to Los Angeles, California and that was a big leap. I put in a lot of work to prepare for this move and I just knew that I would hit the ground running. What actually happened made me slow down. My first six months were a struggle to say the least. The part time job I thought was secure ended up being shaky. The man I had been tied up with for three years ghosted me. Oh, and the reality of the professional dance industry slapped me in the face. Being rejected at auditions and regularly critiqued in dance class can really do a number on you mentally. I have so much grace for this version of myself who simply didn’t have the tools to get out of a vibration that felt stagnant and depleting.

Thankfully, there came a point when things started to shift. It was in February of 2020. I decided to take my affirmation practice more seriously as well as daily journaling and the occasional Yoga. Just a few weeks later, the Covid-19 pandemic rolled in and I was in quarantine like everyone else. The quarantine was a challenging time for many people but there were some people like myself who thrived during it. I’m talking about a whole re-birth and radically healing. This time in my life allowed me to comfortably be with myself for the first time ever. I would spend my days meditating, reading books like “Vibrate Higher Daily” by Lalah Delia, practicing Yoga and nurturing my new found passion for sharing wellness resources through a brand I started called Healthy+Well. 

This time alone showed me the true gift of being in one’s own company. I received numerous insights about my purpose and what I really need to be in alignment and embody inner peace. This period of time also gave me the opportunity to reflect on the trauma I experienced from allowing people into my life who were unworthy of such intimate access. It took diligent effort and vulnerability but through the work of healing, I was able to come home to myself, deeply feel the radiance within my spirit and view myself with higher regard. One pivotal practice I did was a journaling exercise where I wrote a love letter to myself.

Instead of waiting on a romantic partner to validate me and make me feel worthy, I showered myself with love, acceptance and adoration, and it felt amazing! From this moment on, I have continued to cultivate self worth by practicing daily self-care rituals to connect with my Highest Self. Some days this looks like reading spiritual texts and meditating and other days it looks like reciting affirmations and remembering how far I’ve come. Even in the moments when “life be lifin,” I’ve thankfully maintained an anchor which reminds me who I am and whose I am and when life is just too good to believe, I bask in it and I leap at opportunities to celebrate that past version of me who just didn’t know how bright of a light she is. In sharing my story of worthiness, I hope that you have been inspired to examine your own relationship to self-worth and so I will leave you these resources as you journey through.

Self-worth is the deep-seated belief in one’s own value, worthiness, and deservingness. It encompasses self-acceptance, self-respect, and self-love. Self-worth is not contingent upon titles, socioeconomic status, race, metrics, external achievements or validation.

Self-worth says that even without the views / praise / success, you are still worthy.

Here are 10 Ways to Cultivate Self-Worth on your journey of personal evolution:

1. Practice Self-Compassion
2. Set Boundaries
3. Celebrate Your Accomplishments
4. Practice Gratitude
5. Seek Support
6. Set Sustainable Goals
7. Practice Mindfulness
8. Engage in Activities that Bring You Joy
9. Write a Love Letter to Yourself
10. Treat yo’self to the “I Am Worthy” Wellness Retreat

Yes, you read #10 correctly.

The young woman who settled for way less than she deserved is now standing boldly and readily holding space for readers like you to be well and feel confident. The “I Am Worthy” Wellness Retreat is my fourth retreat and its purpose is to serve women of color as they re-discover their inner worthiness and re-prioritize self-care. Gone are the days when family, career and other people’s problems take up so much space and energy that you have nothing for yourself. This retreat is an invitation to reclaim your role as the Queen you are and to blissfully receive the care, service and love that you are oh so worthy of. If you’re ready to getaway and be changed, please take the first step to join me at the “I Am Worthy” retreat this May. You can find all of the retreat details below.

The “I Am Worthy” Retreat is an all-inclusive wellness retreat in the beautiful and serene Southern California wine country. This retreat is tailor-made for BIPOC women who have poured their hearts into their careers, partners and families, forgetting that they are just as deserving of love and care. It’s an invitation to prioritize yourself and feel the joy of self-love.

On the retreat, you can expect to enjoy 5 star accommodations, delicious plant based cuisine, daily Yoga classes, transformational journaling workshops, a multi-winery tour, a relaxing on-site spa day and more.

Retreat Dates: May 17-20, 2024

You are welcome to submit an interest form to join the retreat here. An exclusive discount for Queens At Work readers is available until March 20th. 

Remember that no matter how much people require of you, you are always worthy of the time it takes to practice self-care.

with ease + gratitude